We've all been in our life ruts. We've all had the ups and downs that have made us who we are today. Some of us that are getting close to age 30 (or older) have started to learn that life doesn't get easier, you just get better at reacting to the constant unexpected struggles. You get better at taking advantage of the highs when you have the rare pleasure of good news or when great things that happen to you.
Hooping is amazing. It helps with an incredible amount of things in life and can have a magical ability to erase our problems while in the circle. It can center our minds and focus us back to where we need to be. In my experience, it nearly cured my depression, got me exercising, gave me a purpose, and made me into a much better version of myself. However, lately it just hasn't been enough. Hooping is the best thing that ever happened to me and I am sure it is the same for many of you. However, there are some things that it just can't help. There are some things that prevent me from having any interest in even looking at those plastic circles of joy. Those things talk me out of hooping and tell me there probably is no point in trying anymore. They are within me and they are the monsters I have been battling with.
My depression this time around is a solid mix between Seasonal Affective Disorder (depression due to the lack of sunlight from Fall changing to Winter) and situational depression. When the sun is shining outside and coming through the windows, I feel much better and more energetic. On these days, I can often get through the stressful and disheartening life situations causing my depression. However, I am quickly reminded of the situation that I don't have flow-friendly people to share my bright days with. If I want to spend time hooping or practicing flow arts with people, I have to find people who will make time for me, want to be with me, and have the desire to join me for a solid practice session. Lately, those people haven't existed. One of my best flow art friends has moved away and another is about to do the same. I am feeling incredibly lonely.
This year, my hooping classes have seemed to come to a screeching halt. When I opened the 3 days per week classes in September, I assumed they would be booming and doing better than ever before. I even opened up a whole new age group for the younger kids, as requested by the area. I also thought that since I had been teaching these classes for years, I had built a large number of interested people. I have taken and tried advice from many other professionals in the field. I am confused about why this year has been the opposite of what I expected. I have had two students attend one class, and none since. Being a reasonable person who can take a hint, everything is telling me to quit and never look back.
There are other life stresses and other issues I have been experiencing, but not being able to spend time with people doing what I enjoy most has been making these stresses unbearable. Hooping is outstanding for my depression and has been the best thing I have ever done to help it, but this is the first time I have severely struggled to find anyone to share it with. I haven't had any desire to do it. Hooping just isn't enough right now. Things have to get better it seems.
Perhaps everything will fall into place when I convince myself that hooping alone is just as fulfilling and enjoyable as hooping with others. Until I find out a way to get past my inability to enjoy hooping alone, I am afraid I will stay hindered and unhappy.
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