A Challenge to Change your Habits
I am writing this from a place of pure experience, struggle, and then sudden clarity. I have always been defensive. Ever since I can remember, I could not handle criticism for the most part. Something happened recently and I am not really sure what. A sudden clarity has hit me where it was always blurry before. I can suddenly walk away from social media situations that would have always made me crazy and spend hours defending myself before.
For about a year now, a good friend of mine has been saying "What you see in others is a reflection of yourself". For a long time, it made no sense to me. I thought about it too literally. I didn't explore the thought for a long time. I thought things like "What does hating mean people have to do with me? How does that show a reflection of me? I am a good person." I could not see how things about others would be a reflection of myself. They had nothing to do with me. Or so I thought....
Then, I started to really think about it. If you have an issue with someone or something, it really is a reflection of you. This is because it is actually the process of you doubting your ability to deal with the situation. It is really your inability to just walk away from an issue. It is a reflection of your failure to find peace in the problem (whatever it may be). When you hate someone, that is your inability to deal with and find peace with the fact that you cannot control the behavior and thoughts of another. You simply need to realize they aren't worth your time and energy. The only thing you can do is to focus on what you can do in your life and how you can be a positive part of the world. Think of how much better life can be if you use this to suddenly have some control over things. You can ALWAYS control how you respond to other people. You are in control of yourself.
I don't know what clicked inside of me to make this clear, but I am grateful that it did.
The problem:
There is all kinds of negativity all over the internet. Some people are just plain hurtful. Most of them are just dying for a response so they can argue and feed off the debate. They will never go away. You cannot fix them. You may never understand any of them. Here's the secret:
You do not want to respond to them. Your response is actually likely to make you look like the bad guy (even if it doesn't make sense). This is something I learned the hard way. It is one of those things many people tell you (but you don't actually listen or understand it). People will often take the side of the original instigator simply based on the fact that you wanted to defend yourself (even if you had every right to defend yourself).
SOCIAL MEDIA "STOMP OUT NEGATIVITY" CHALLENGE
I came up with this because I was in "Unity of the Hula Hoopers" (over 17,000 members) and read something that someone said about something I said earlier that day. I wanted so badly to respond and defend myself. However, I did not say a single word. I knew that I had control over how I reacted. I knew that defending myself would only make everything worse. So, I came up with the "stomp out negativity" challenge instead and I immediately posted it in the group. Within 48 minutes, it had 60 "likes". The photo below is something I am proud of and what I decided to post.
The Challenge:
When someone posts something that upsets you or makes you want to defend yourself, you should take a deep breath. DO NOT respond.
Instead of defending yourself, post something about yourself that you are proud of in a new post. This can be pictures, videos, or describe in words. This isn't just for facebook. It can be for ANY social media platform. Be as positive as possible and encourage others to do the same.
Use the power of what you feel secure with to defeat any insecure feelings you have about what someone said. Security overpowers insecurity. Everyone should have something that makes them feel safe and proud.
If you don't have something to be proud of to post or share with others, you should start working on that right away. Find your "happy place". If you continue to try to defend yourself, it will keep negativity alive. Let's stomp it out!
How to Encourage Others to Take Part:
Copy and paste the following words (or use similar words) to go with your post. This will go with the picture, video, or words you want to share. (what you are proud of)
"When someone posts something that makes you want to defend yourself, DO NOT respond.
Instead, post something about yourself that you are proud of in a new post. This can be pictures, videos, or described in words. Use the power of what you feel secure with to defeat any insecure feelings you have about what someone said. Security overpowers insecurity. Everyone should have something that makes them feel safe and proud. If you don't have something to be proud of to post or share with others, you should start working on that right away. Find your "happy place". Let's stomp it out!"
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